At Hippo, we value creating an environment where each employee can bring their entire self to work. When people feel safe to be their authentic selves, amazing outcomes occur, including creative ideas, innovation, and maximized potential. Individuals, teams, and businesses thrive.
In celebration of Pride Month, we were honored to host Jay Porter, CEO of Revere, tell us about the challenges he has faced as a gay man in technology.
Throughout his career, Jay has stood out as a leader in communications and marketing, recognized for his ability to help companies shape their stories and spread the word with media, customers and consumers in a clear and resonant way. Jay recently sat down for an open and sincere conversation with Tracy Letzerich, Hippo’s Director of People Strategy, about his experience and views on a broad spectrum of topics related to LGBTQIA+ issues, including intersectionality, inclusion, and equality in the workplace.
“It was many years into my journey before I finally had someone I worked closely with and looked up to who showed me that I could be gay, happy, and have a successful career. That was a revelation.”
Jay grew up in Oklahoma City. and heard awful things about gay people and homosexuality from a very young age. “I am nearing 50 now, so I was coming of age and dealing with my own sexuality at the same time that the AIDS crisis was really taking off. The first gay people that I ever heard of existing in my immediate family and circles were people who had died or people who had come home because they were dying.” When asked how this affected him at the time, he visibly slumps a bit and says, “It was all very wrapped in shame and scandal.
This experience stuck with Jay and motivated him to go to school on the East Coast and pursue careers that would keep him in coastal, more progressive metropolitan areas.
“It was many years before I got to know other gay folks and have any positive role models. Probably not until I was 20 and interning in DC for the summer that I finally had someone I worked closely with and looked up to who showed me that I could be gay, happy, and have a successful career. That was a revelation.”
After graduating from Yale, Jay returned home for his first post-college job. “I found myself having to deal with the questions, ‘Can I be out at work?’ ‘How out can I be at work?’ etc.” To Jay, constantly feeling this uncertainty was, frankly, exhausting.
“It seemed the more I was out, the more my future career opportunities would be limited. While this was the mid-90s and not a time that felt progressive, these are feelings and experiences that people still have to navigate in 2021.”
It was the dot.com boom, and Jay was drawn to technology. He made a bold move and struck out across the country. After living in Oklahoma for nearly four years, Jay packed his car, and with $300 to his name, he moved to Seattle.
“I am very lucky to say that I have found the technology industry to be very welcoming, and I know that there are many people who can’t say the same thing in their industry, especially many women and people of color. I have also been fortunate enough to support accessibility, diversity and inclusion from the positions I have held.”
It hasn’t all been smooth sailing, despite landing in more open and diverse environments.
“One thing that people don’t necessarily realize is that LGBTQIA+ people never finish coming out. It’s not a one-time event or announcement. Some queer folks prefer not to continuously deal with this, either by signifying in a very visible way that they are a member of the community or by hiding that part of themselves completely.” And then, there is the issue of heteronormativity. “Even though I feel plenty gay, there are numerous occasions when people assume my sister is my wife or during small talk, people ask ‘ What does your wife do?’.”
Jay learned pretty quickly to mention his husband of 17 years if a conversation begins moving in that direction. By mentioning his husband early in a conversation, it dispels any additional heteronormative questions, “but that doesn’t mean it isn’t taxing.”
“I also had the confidence because of all the skills and education I have acquired. I’ve purposefully built up my resume to be fine if it ever came to me not feeling like I could be my complete gay self at work. It never came to that.”
When asked about a time that he or a colleague was treated differently due to his identity in a business setting, Jay shared an impactful story. Several years ago when pitching a campaign to a large telecommunications company, Jay had assembled the best team for the job when the client pulled him aside. “Could you maybe not bring this fruity guy to the pitch presentation?” The man that the client was referring to was, as far as anyone knows, a straight man with a wife and kids who dressed stylishly. Jay looked the client in the eyes and responded, “Well, actually, I’m the homo, and “the fruity one” is straight and married, so if you would rather not have me in the room, please let me know. I brought this particular person because he knows your industry, is incredibly smart and will add a lot to the team.” The client was horrified at his gaffe. When Jay relayed what happened back to his boss, they decided as a team not to pursue work with that client. Jay felt supported in that moment.
“Early in my career, I knew I wasn’t supported. I would never have had the confidence to say stand up to a potential client. Fortunately, at that time, I was certain my CEO would have my back, and I also had the confidence largely due to the skills and education I have acquired. I’ve purposefully built up my resume to be fine if it ever came to me not feeling like I could be my complete self at work. It never came to that, and I still love coming to work every day.”
Jay has been with the same organization since 2005. We asked how he landed at Edelman, a global communications firm (Revere’s parent company), and why he has stayed with them so long. “A friend I met at a gay bar ended up being the one that hired me into Edelman. He is the most fabulously, flamboyant, no-holds-barred, gay leader I have ever worked alongside. Watching him in action, pushing limits as a savvy leader who was also super campy, was freeing. To this day I still ask myself, ‘what would Patrick do in this situation?’ when I have to make tough decisions. Having this role model of authentic leadership in my life gave me courage and is a big reason I have continued my career with Edelman and Revere.”
“Pride is not just a party. It is an invitation to remind ourselves that we need to listen to other people’s experiences and be open to learning.”
On intersectionality (the unity and interconnectedness of various groups facing discrimination) and Pride and how to celebrate at work, Jay shared insightful views. “Pride is not just a party. It is an invitation to remind ourselves that we need to listen to other people’s experiences and be open to learning. That we aren’t treating terms like ‘intersectionality’ as buzz-words, but putting them into practice across our lives and the organizations we are a part of.”
“Don’t just be allies to our faces.”
Jay goes on to share a key learning about allyship. A colleague of his once said, “Allyship is nice, but what I want as a woman of color is co-conspirators. Allyship is the first step on the journey and we should all work toward a willingness to have uncomfortable conversations, and support one another even when we aren’t in the same room.
“Despite early struggles, ones that I still have scars from, there’s no question that being gay has made me more open-minded, brave, empathetic, and less afraid of change.”
We were inspired by Jay’s courage throughout his life and career. “Despite early struggles, ones that I still have the scars from, there’s no question that being gay has made me more open-minded, brave, empathetic, and less afraid of change. I find myself looking for ways to say ‘yes.’ Whether it’s a move across the country or a transition into a role that I wasn’t confident I could succeed in… why not try?”
Hippo is grateful for the opportunity to spend time with Jay during Pride month, and to continue the conversation around how we can build better, more inclusive work environments for our people to thrive.
